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Joke of the Day

"Two antennas met on a rooftop... ...they fell in love and got married. I heard the ceremony was pretty average... but the reception was excellent!"

"I still eat around bruised parts of fruit like a scared 4-year-old."

"What's colorless and smells sweet? Chloroform SHHHH.."

"My daughters boyfriend still doesn't know how to tie his shoes... Every time I walk in her room that's all she's doing."

"How can you tell when a fax has been sent by a blonde? When there's a stamp on it."

"Mankind has made a lot of mistakes, some of them truly monstrous. The Holocaust. Slavery. Calling it a ""corn maze"" and not a ""maize maze."""

"A guy goes to the doctor for his annual checkup, and the doctor says, ""You need to stop masturbating."" ""Why?"" the man asks. The doctor replies, ""Because I'm trying to examine you."""

"Why did the aligator spit out his lunch? Because it was two years old"

"A black guy called me a disgrace in front of his girlfriend, but then I realized he was introducing me to his girlfriend Grace."

"What's your favorite word? 5-Year-Old: Empathy! I don't even know what it means! Me- I know how you feel."