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Joke of the Day

"Press 1 for English. Press 2 for spanish. Press 1 and 2 at the same time for the latest Pitbull song"

"How much do pirates pay for earrings? about a buck an ear."

"Jewish football What's the worst part about having an all Jewish football team? You have to replace the whole team every time they take a shower"

"My keyboard squeaks and so does my mouse."

"The worst thing about pedophiles is... ...they're all fucking immature assholes."

"After 20 years of marriage, I still get blow jobs. If my wife finds out, she'll fucking kill me."

"just witnessed a salmon shitting out its ovaries. it winked at me and said 'that's how i roe.'"

"I always get ""homophobe"" and ""homophone"" mixed up. I just know one of them likes caulk."

"My wife fell asleep during American Idol, so I got up like a fat ninja and turned hockey on. Then, I whispered to myself ""I run this house"""

"Doctor: 'Your recovery was a miracle!' Patient: 'PRAISE GOD. Now I don't have to pay you!'"