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Joke of the Day

"I never date left handed women Righty Tighty Lefty Loosey"

"Scientists have discovered that radioactive fluids with a half-life of 3 years take a long time to travel through valves"

"What's big, black and loaded with aids? A new Cadillac Escalade with cruise control, lane alert, navigation, downhill descent control and parking assist."

"Me: YOU CAN DO IT SON! Son: Why are you being so encouraging? Are you drunk? Me: Yep. So pass your driving test or we're walking home."

"How do you circumcise a redneck? You kick his sister in the back of the head."

"If I could have been any Monarch in history I would have been George the 6th But with asthma. That way I could introduce myself by saying I'm King George... and Wheezy."

"My driving teacher asked me where the gas is: ""Second door on the right."""

"It hurts? That's the body's way of showing you it's healing. It doesn't hurt? That's the body's way of showing you it's healing. - Doctors"

"What's large, gray, wrinkly, and not important? An irrelephant."

"I don't want to play a band instrument at school because I only get F minor"