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Joke of the Day

"It hurts? That's the body's way of showing you it's healing. It doesn't hurt? That's the body's way of showing you it's healing. - Doctors"

"If I was a waitress, I would plant fake engagement rings in every girls champagne glass, just to watch the boyfriends panic."

"What's the difference between a drum, a woman, and a blowjob? You can beat a drum. And you can beat a woman. But you can't beat a blowjob."

"A wife comes downstairs before a dinner date with her husband She asks, ""Do I look fat in this dress?"" He replies, ""Do I look dumb in this shirt?"""

"Men say they love Asian women but every time I fry up a new boyfriend's cat or dog it's like all the appreciation goes out the window."

"What do you call someone who's representing a bike shop? A spokesperson."

"Justin Bieber gets 40,000 retweets just for tweeting 'Hello', so here's my attempt: Hele0iM1. Ah, harder than it looks. Fair play to him."

"Why do blonde girls have bruises on their belly buttons? Because blonde guys are stupid too!"

"Donald Tump and Hilary Clinton are stranded on a Island, who do thy save first? America"

"Who's the only living relative of penguin? His Aunt Arctica"