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Joke of the Day

"Me: YOU CAN DO IT SON! Son: Why are you being so encouraging? Are you drunk? Me: Yep. So pass your driving test or we're walking home."

"If Love is like Chemistry. I am a noble gas."

"What's the difference between a Pakistani middle school and an Al Qaeda training ground? I dunno, I just fly the drone."

"I learned how to yodel -Knock knock. --Who's there? -Yoda lady. --Yoda lady who? -Good job yodeling!"

"It just occurred to me that we have to make all the jokes about Sarah Jessica Parker while she's still alive.. Because after she dies it'll be like beating a dead horse..."

"What did the runaway melon say to the honeydew on Valentine's Day? I cantaloupe."

"At an Irish wedding reception someone yelled... ""Would all the married men please stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living."" The bartender was almost crushed to death."

"You can't spell ""A.D.D."" without ""hey what is that is that some Go-Gurt"""

"REAL '90s kids will recognize this! ---> Current unemployment."

"Drunk girls click ""reply all"" when they talk."