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Joke of the Day

"I was going to post a gay joke.... Butt fuck it"

"Is siri better than you? that's a siri-ous question."

"Do you know why I don't like simple chord progressions? They give me the EBGBs."

"Why didn't the Mexican go now hunting? Because he didn't habanero."

"Everyone knows someone in real life that actually resembles a garden gnome."

"2 drunks meet on the street One says ""please allow me to pass between you"" The other replies ""alright, just please do it one at a time"""

"Who are you going to trust, some real doctor who says it's impossible to make you a centaur, or me, the guy with a hacksaw and half a horse?"

"It's been raining so much, I have begun the construction on my Ark. If you need any help I Noah guy."

"Him: Are you on your way? Me: Yes, this cab driver sucks! *changes outfit for the 6th time, gulps wine and requests an uber*"

"I told my boyfriend that I felt like I had been forgetting a lot of things lately. He said, ""because I've been fucking your brains out."" I've never laughed so hard."