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Joke of the Day
"Racecar spelt backwards is racecar But racecar sideways is how Paul Walker died"
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"What's the main ingredient in mana potions? Caster sugar."
"What's black and white and red all over? The slowest zebra."
"A new TV program to be filmed about asylum seekers in the UK... The Great British Fuck Off starts next week."
"What moved less than Jenny McCarthy's forehead tonight? Mariah Carey's mouth."
"Why did the walrus go to the Tupperware store? He was looking for a tight seal."
"My friend gave me one last gift before he died. It was his EpiPen."
"Want to hear a dumb, old joke? Hillary Clinton. Want to hear a dumber, older joke? Wherefore doth the chicken cross the road? Want to hear the oldest, dumbest joke I've heard? Donald Trump."
"Self-absorbed people are the worst. They are always thinking about themselves when they should be thinking about me."
"I had an artist put a tattoo of an asshole put over my asshole. That way I can say, ""Are you referring to me or my tattoo?"""