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Joke of the Day

"I bet Oscar Pistorius has a rough time in prison. He can't even stand up for himself."

"water Water Teacher: What is the formula for water? Student: H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O Teacher: That's not what I taught you. Student: But you said the formula for water was...H to O. l"

"TIL that they have raised the minimum drinking age in Arkansas to 32. It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools."

"Why did the Ogre cry when he left the doctor's office? He was diagnosed with shrecktal cancer."

"69 is the kamikaze of oral sex .. If I'm going down you're coming with me."

"I like to go up to my wife's twin sister and say ""i know what you look like naked"""

"SURPRISE! I scream, bursting from the vat of mashed potatoes. The other lunch ladies do not look surprised They do not look surprised at all"

"Self-deprecating humour is the lowest form of entertainment. And I can't even get *that* right."

"I'm trying this new thing where I don't beat off it's hard"

"""Um guys wait seriously you guys I feel like we should be going the other way they're shooting at us? Um guys?!"" --horses going into battle"