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Joke of the Day

"*Gets back at the birds by pooping on their bird houses*"

"dad u make dolphin noises mom u make pinacolada noises grandma u put on this sailboat costume. I told this girl on skype im 16/surfer/hawaii"

"If opposites truly attract, the correct life strategy is to be a loser"

"I failed my Health and Safety class test today. Apparently, when they ask you,""In the event of a fire, what steps would you take?"" ""F**kin' large ones"" is not the correct answer."

"What do you call an alcohol free Japanese city? Nadasaki"

"Why did the blonde tip toe near the medicine cabinet? Because she didn't want to wake the sleeping pills!"

"They told me to keep it in my pants... But it was too hard. Happy Valentine's Day folks!"

"I learned today that I'm still a reddit noob."

"Imagine a hunter in a deer stand but instead of a gun he has a long stick he pokes the deer with and they look around like ""ok who did that"""

"My plan to buy a drawing board just fell through. I guess it's back to th-OH GOD DAMNIT."