200837

Joke of the Day

"I experienced a bad date September 11, 2001"

"Me: ""Breath mint?"" Her: ""Sure."" M: ""Don't mean to offend."" H: ""None taken."" M: ""Great. Good to hear. Care for a push up bra?"""

"How do you put an elephant in a Safeway bag? Take the ""s"" out of Safe and the ""f"" out of way."

"How many waiters does it take to change a light bulb? None a burned out bulb can't catch a waiter's eye."

"How does a girl in West Virginia know when her mama is on the rag? Her daddy's dick tastes funny"

"Don't ever believe anything an atom says. They make up everything."

"I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits. He said, ""How flexible are you?"" I said, ""I can't make Tuesdays."

"My girlfriend is from another Nation. ImagiNATION"

"What peanut butter do total dicks eat? Schmuckers."

"*lights dim in restaurant* DATE: did it just become sexier in here? ME: I CAN'T SEE MY MENU"