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Joke of the Day

"My boyfriend stole my banana... My boyfriend stole my banana so I called him out on it. He said, ""Oh I'm sorry. I can get you another banana that's just as yellow."""

"The first rule of Alzheimer's's Club? The first rule of Alzheimer's's Club, Is that you don't talk about Chess Club."

"I want to give a shout out to liver thanks buddy for keeping all those bad influences out of my life"

"Before my girlfriend moved in I always had one night stand Now that things are getting serious we have two night stands"

"I have a vegan girlfriend... and she's nice and all, but sometimes I think she just looks at me like a piece of carrot"

"Did you hear that Jenner accident was actually caused by the car? Bruce was having tranny problems."

"Started teaching my son and his friends Karate... I'm not qualified I just really enjoy kicking children."

"Why does the Little Mermaid wear seashells? Because B-shells are too small, and D-shells are too big."

"My girlfriend is quite pessimistic about our sex life, but I'm a vagina half full kind of guy."

"I had a dream last night... ...that I was eating a massive marshmallow, it was huge! And then when I woke up this morning, my pillow was gone!"