133746

Joke of the Day

"Someone stole my mood ring And I don't know how I feel about it."

"I reached blindly inside my cavernous mom bag for a lip balm and I touched something I didn't recognize. Go on without me."

"Where does Google and Apple get their weather information? The Cloud."

"All my CDs are in my ex's car. I'd get them, but I don't want to face her. Plus I don't have the equipment for diving to the bottom of the river."

"There was a baby boy born at the hospital without eyelids. So the doctors circumcised him and used his foreskin as eyelids. He's doing fine, he is just a little cockeyed"

"Heart melting love story: Boy: My wife & 2 kids. Heart melting love story: Boy: I can't marry u. My family is totally against it. Girl: Who r they 2 stop u? Boy: My wife & 2 kids."

"What did the lesbian vampire say to the other? See you next month!"

"Husband: Honey I bought the new Gold Olympic Condoms... Wfie: Why not Silver and come second for a change...?"

"My gal pal: ""Are you on a diet? You look so nice & thin... What's you're secret?!"" Me: ""Poverty."""

"What's the difference between a hunter and a fisherman? A hunter lies in wait. A fisherman waits and lies."