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Joke of the Day

"Heart melting love story: Boy: My wife & 2 kids. Heart melting love story: Boy: I can't marry u. My family is totally against it. Girl: Who r they 2 stop u? Boy: My wife & 2 kids."

"What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta."

"What was the name of the time traveler with good timing? Justin Time."

"I accidentally hit a little kid with my car. It wasn't serious. Nobody saw me. Anthony Jeselnik."

"I ""Liked"" your comment on my status update because I'm too lazy to respond."

"Do I believe in free will? Well I have no choice."

"Where do Russian cows come from? Moscow!"

"I'm not a liar. I have an English degree; I'm an unreliable narrator."

"ISIS fighters dress as women in desperate attempt to flee battlefield They literally had to drag themselves out of the battlefield."

"Time zones are amazing! Here in New Zealand it's tomorrow, in America it's yesterday and in North Korea it's 1980."