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Joke of the Day

"What's your most fucked up joke? I'm looking for the most cancerous jokes you can think of."

"How did King Wenceslas like his pizza? Deep pan, crisp and even."

"""You kids and your smartphones, when we were your age we just dealt with having nothing to do with our hands."" *Lights another cigarette*"

"Do you know why the Little Mermaid wears seashells? Because A and B shells were too small"

"Why didn't Thor like the party? It was too Loki."

"If you get a new job before you quit your old one, it's considered responsible. But if you do that with your gf, it's called ""cheating."""

"I tried to take a photo of a huge bug in my bathroom, but when I put a coin next to it for scale IT TOOK THE COIN AND PUT IT IN ITS WALLET."

"An e-mail confirming you've unsubscribed from a mailing list is a fun way of saying you're not having the last word in THIS argument, pal."

"I don't trust chairs. They just don't sit right with me."

"What does Jeb Bush say on the toilet? Please crap"