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Joke of the Day

"An e-mail confirming you've unsubscribed from a mailing list is a fun way of saying you're not having the last word in THIS argument, pal."

"What data service is red and wireless? Flash-Drives"

"Have you ever had SEX while camping? I heard it's Fucking in tents!"

"Sometimes it's nice to feel another body pressed up against your own, even if rigor mortis has already set it."

"""There's an iPhone app that scans your face and tells you how ugly you are.You don't need this. If your phone doesn't ring at all, you're ugly."""

"Why were the Middle Ages called the Dark Ages? Because there were too many knights."

"Dress for the job you want, not the job you have. I came to work naked. I want to be a porn star. Now I'm just unemployed."

"They'll hate you if you're pretty. They'll hate you if you're not. They'll hate you for what you lack and they'll hate you for what you got"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? so it could get to the other side"

"Don't break anyone's heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206."