133706

Joke of the Day

"I just realized the Dictionary.com app on my phone, reads out any word I type, including 'penis'. I can't wait for that meeting tomorrow."

"Rodman, Rogen and Jong-un walk into a bar...(add your punchline because I don't have un!)"

"I really was gonna jog at the park today....but I just found an empty park bench so I'll just have a few smokes and cheer the joggers on."

"Why is a bra singular and panties plural?"

"A cop stopped me and asked ""Do you know why I followed you "" so I said ""because my tweets are funny"" & we laughed & high-fived & I'm in Jail..."

"What's long, green, slimy and smells like pork? Kermit the frog's finger"

"What did the mother Buffalo say when her boy left for college? Bye-son"

"I met the donkey from Numbers 22... He was a pretty cool guy... What? Did you expect him to be an ass?"

"""It got weird, didn't it? "" *Leaves on a pogo stick.*"

"Shopkeeper: Stop! you can't smoke here. Me: But I bought the it from your shop. Shopkeeper: We also sell condoms but that doesn't mean.. but you don't use them here!"