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Joke of the Day

"My neighbor claims to have a large collection of classic arcade games but I think it's just a case of 1UPmanship."

"Say what you want about deaf people."

"why do parents get mad when u sleep all day like im staying out of trouble and im not spending your money like what is the issue here"

"How many heretics does it take to change a lightbulb? We're not sure, they've yet to see the light."

"Before I watch any new network comedy, I say to myself ""This better be filled with diversity."""

"When the mechanic said I 'blew a seal', I was afraid he knew about that summer I worked at Sea World but it turns out it's some car thing."

"I live a Sinatra lifestyle. I'm just being frank with you."

"What do they call the Hunger Games in Ethiopia? Games."

"How do you make a cat go woof? Paraffin and matches."

"""What's the matter with your dinner ?"" ""Can you describe it for me please in case I need to tell my doctor later what I've eaten !"""