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Joke of the Day

"why do parents get mad when u sleep all day like im staying out of trouble and im not spending your money like what is the issue here"

"5 SECONDS AGO! What do we want? TIME TRAVEL JOKES! When do we want them?"

"[Slightly NSFW] What's the difference between a computer and a woman? Computers will take floppies."

"What do you call an Irish lesbian? Gaelic"

"How do you exorcise a demon? Make him run a lap then do 10 push-ups and sit-ups"

"What the difference between meat and fish? If you beat your fish, it dies."

"What would reunite the Beatles? 2 more bullets"

"So someone decided to offer a million pounds to the first Irishman who could learn to swim... A Scotsman ended up winning."

"Why is poop tapered? So your butt hole doesn't slam shut!"

"A duck walks into a drug store. He says ""Give me some chap stick."" The cashier asks ""Will that be cash or credit?"" The duck says ""Just put it on my bill."""