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Joke of the Day

"""Fluffy died today"" ""Oh my god I'm so sorry, was he a cat or dog? ""He was a boa constrictor"" ""Well that made me feel better"""

"If you ever get drugged by someone and they steal an organ, just check Craigslist. That's probably where I'm selling it at."

"how is an antivirus similar to porn? You don't have to pay for it."

"the divorce rate among my socks is astonishing"

"What do you call.... nuts on the wall? Walnuts. nuts on your chest? Chestnuts. nuts on your chin? Chinnuts? No! A dick in your mouth."

"'Active' shower gel because I have no idea what active smells like."

"What did the spice merchant say when someone knocked on his door? Cumin!"

"Iron Man is a super hero. Iron Woman is a command."

"What do you call a man with no arms and no legs inside a volcano? Anakin Skywalker. (Happy Geek Pride Day!)"

"My husband believes my greatest accomplishment... is his last name."