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Joke of the Day
"""I don't like the taste of water"" - First World Problem"
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"I got fired from my job at Pepsi I tested positive for Coke"
"Shipwreck diary, Day 32,567: So, turns out I'm immortal."
"How many Dragonball Z characters does it take to change a lightbulb? Find out next time, on Dragonball Z!!!"
"What do you call something that is long hard and full of semen? A Submarine."
"What happens to Stephen Hawking when he stops laughing? He writes scary stories."
"Man: How did you compromise with your wife? Husband: She came to me on her feet. Man: and what she said? Husband: i was down to bad and she said come out, i will not say you anything..."
"What did the buffalo say when his son left for college? Bison."
"A good education is pretty important, but I think being good looking might be more importanter."
"People always complain that I'm ""out there."" [On the phone. To the cops. While I'm sitting in their birdbath.]"