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Joke of the Day

"How many Mormons does it take to change a lightbulb? Ten. One to actually change the lightbulb and nine to bring refreshments"

"How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb? none. They would just beat the room because it was black."

"'original' is my second name . . . 'un' is my first"

"What's the difference between my dick and my shot gun? my daughter didn't cry when the gun went off in her mouth!"

"Did you hear about the fat chick I fucked on the elevator? It was wrong on so many levels."

"I got lost in a closet as a child... When I came out, my parents, although supportive, really weren't that happy."

"Christmas Presents I told my girlfriend that every time we had sex I would add a dollar to how much i would spend on her christmas present, so far she's getting a McChicken."

"Why don't melons marry on a whim? They cantaloupe."

"I save a ton of money on teeth whitening by not smiling."

"What's the difference between illegal and unlawful? Unlawful is against the law, whereas illegal is a sick bird. Note: This obviously works better when told than read."