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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between my dick and my shot gun? my daughter didn't cry when the gun went off in her mouth!"

"My grandfather's broken watch is just as relevant today as it was in the 50s It's a timeless piece, really."

"~The Discovery of Fruit~ Ok, so far you've named the red one apple and the yellow one banana. What about the orange one? Really? *sighs*"

"*I'm worried about tomorrow* Tomorrow: I'm fine, stop worrying."

"Just saw a woman getting 'running lessons' with rubber bands & a head gear. Pffft, I could've taught her for free and with only a chainsaw"

"What do you call a bunch of furries, an all girls volleyball meet, and a video game tournament? Genesis 3."

"When I see someone laughing to themselves in public, I love to imagine what they're thinking about, even though deep down I know: it's memes"

"Things I hate 1. haters 2. r/jokes 3. lists"

"DID YOU KNOW: If every person on the planet lined up along the Earth's equator, most of them would drown."

"Loses house keys. Builds new house."