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Joke of the Day

"i can confirm that Somali pirates have intercepted my shipment of 20,000 glossy 8x10 headshots and are using them for vile purposes"

"You know what's a job I could really see myself doing? Mirror inspector."

"What do you get when you mix human DNA with goat DNA? Kicked out of the petting zoo."

"Of course size matters. No one wants a small pizza"

"I would like to make a masturbation joke But today that would be way to corny"

"Just saw a redhead drinking Ginger Ale. It looks to be making him stronger. We must stop him before it's too late."

"I found a rock yesterday which measured 1760 yards in length. Must be some kind of milestone."

"As a matter of fact, I _AM_ trying to cause a big sensation... Just talkin' 'bout double p-penetration"

"What kind of musical instrument do mice play ? A mouse organ !"

"What we all have in common is how extra stupid we look when we stop everything and focus on removing a stray hair from our tongue."