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Joke of the Day

"a cowboy dog walks into a town He goes right into the saloon and says,"" I'm looking fer the varmint that shot my pa' ""."

"judge: ""you have chosen to defend yourself, is that correct?"" me: [muffled from inside full suit of armour] ""that's correct"""

"Wanna hear a dirty joke? The pig fell in the mud."

"How will you know your sister has period? When you taste blood in your father's dick"

"What's a transvestite's favorite candy? He/she's kisses"

"Why couldn't the auction house find any buyers for the Celtic artifact? It was completely runed."

"Auto correct changed naughty with nausea and it was the best decision i ever made in this relationship."

"OP's sex life."

"I have such bad luck getting a girl to come over... I watched the video from ""The Ring"" and the creepy chick called seven days later and said something came up and she couldn't make it."

"Someone ran over a deaf, dumb and blind man near me last night. Poor bloke didn't know what had hit him."