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Joke of the Day

"What we all have in common is how extra stupid we look when we stop everything and focus on removing a stray hair from our tongue."

"Starting to reconsider the Supreme Court decision... what are these lesbian newlyweds going to do with all the sandwiches they make if they always eat out?"

"Countless marriages could be saved by requiring urinals in private residences."

"Why was there semen on the clean laundry? When Greg woke up, his mom had left a note reading, ""Please put a load in the washer"""

"The 15YO turns 16 today. Getting him a cake in the shape of a massive increase in our auto insurance premiums."

"Going on the Obama diet... Putin will eat my lunch everyday..."

"I wish I was your math homework Then I'd be hard and you'd do me on the desk."

"My wife was excited after my vasectomy. She said it was a load off of her chest.^.(stole ^off ^imgur, ^sowwie)"

"They called it the Fiddle Motel..... ....but it was a vile inn."

"How do you circumcise a hillbillly? Kick his sister in the chin."