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Joke of the Day

"marrying ur high school sweetheart is like eating chicken tenders n being like ok cool im only eating chicken tenders the rest of my life"

"Everyone keeps downvoting my racist jokes. It's like a load of black people have suddenly gotten laptops or something."

"I had this nightmare that Salma Hayek and Kevin Hart were trying to tell me something at the same time and expected me to understand it"

"I don't mean to brag but 14 bots are hitting on me and I've already received 72 viruses. -- Nerds"

"I just saw a documentary about how ships are held together. Riveting."

"Are your parents retarded? ...because you're one special lady!"

"Why being called handsome is an insult When you have a 3 way, it's called a threesome When you have a 2 way, it's called a twosome When you have a 1 way, it's called a handsome"

"I would rather crush the shit out of the back of my shoes than bend over and put them on properly."

"Sausage fest at my house tonight. Not what you think. Just eating many varieties of sausage. Nice people. Good music. NO GIRLS ALLOWED."

"Why didnt Craig buy Anne Franks shoes on Ebay for 2000$ ? They were Holo-costly"