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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a Mustard Competition? A Compe*Dijon*"

"If you love something let it go, if it comes back with a toddlers arm, it was probably a Pit Bull."

"Madonna falls off stage apparently she was supposed to untie her cape so that her dancers could rip it off her. i guess madonna is not as good at pulling things off as she used to be."

"(Spoilers) Ian McShane in GoT I guess that makes him Deadwood."

"Scavenger hunt! Find a parent in Walmart who isn't scowling or being verbally and physically abusive to their children."

"So there I was balls deep in a 12 year old ... Then my dad walks in and freaks out starts screaming ""What the fuck are you doing to your sister"""

"What do you get when you mix a donkey & a onion? A Piece of ass that'll bring a tear to your eye"

"I hate how there's virgin olive oil and there's extra virgin olive oil. There was either a dick in it or there wasn't. There's no such thing as extra lack of penis."

"Him: you're terrifying Me: awww you're just saying that"

"I went Christmas shopping at Best Buy..."