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Joke of the Day

"Everyone wants their kid to learn to walk until exactly 30 seconds after their kid learns to walk."

"If there's ever a zombie apocalypse, I really hope it starts in Vegas Because what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas."

"Why isnt Monica Lewinsky voting for Hillary? The last Clinton left a bad taste in her mouth."

"The woman who sits next to me at work just told someone she's surrounded by idiots. I feel bad for her."

"Which state is actually a tiny soft drink? mini-soda."

"Why was the tree in prison? Because it broke every branch of the law."

"How do you circumcise Luke Skywalker? Kick Princess Leia in the jaw."

"What do you get when you cross an apple with a Christmas tree? A pear. P.s. got this joke in a cracker. If anybody gets it can you please explain it. My family is stumped."

"Have you ever wondered why Severus Snape taught Potions and not Herbology? It's because his Lily died."

"I haven't had bread in 3 weeks. I look great but now all I think about is bread. I'm basically a duck at this point."