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Joke of the Day

"Max the camel walks into his parents' room at 2am and asks for a glass of water. His dad says, ""Another one? That's the second glass this month."""

Next Joke
 
"I don't understand why the Lions and Vikings get to play on thanksgiving. Shouldn't the Patriots play the Redskins, and then steal their stadium?"
"""Son, do you know why we named you Easter Bunny?"" *sigh* ""Because you don't b-"" ""BECAUSE WE DON'T BELIEVE IN YOU"""
"Donald Trump wants to ban the sale of shredded cheese . . . so he can make America grate again."
"[at the drs] Dr: are you sexually active? Me: yeah Dr: with real people Me [avoiding eye contact & twisting my foot in the ground]: yip"
"ARMY WIVES SUNDAYS AT 11 ON LIFETIME. IT'S NOT TV. IT'S NOT HBO. IT'S NOT FX. IT'S NOT EVEN WE. IT'S LIFETIME. WHAT, LIKE YOU'RE SO GREAT?"
"""Say no to Lindsay Lohan"" - Drugs"
"Subway, Eat flesh. (If Hannibal Lector owned chain restaurants.)"
"What did George Michael say to his partner before he went to work? Wake me up before you go-go"
"My career as a professional rock climber is going great, but I'm also taking a course in mattress-making. Just so I've got something to fall back on."