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Joke of the Day

"I failed the drivers test even though I stopped for the sign I gave it plenty of time to cross, it's not my fault I hit it."

"What's the difference between a soy bean and a chick pea? I've never had a soy bean all over my face."

"Neckbeard goes to the doctor, feeling abnormal. He had a ma'lady."

"Why do ghosts like going out? So they can drink boo-ze and get sheet-faced."

"I was going to tell a story about a Black Hole.... But it sucks."

"""Mommy does Barbie come with Ken?"" ""No sweetie, Barbie comes with GI Joe, she just fakes it with Ken"""

"All life is precious. Unless you're an accountant, then you welcome sweet death."

"Baby you are like a white dwarf star.... Extremely hot but not very bright"

"Why do scuba-divers go in backwards? Because if they went forward they'd fall in the boat."

"Why is the difference between brucellosis and brucellitis like the difference between a woman and an LGBT woman? One is real and the other isn't."