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Joke of the Day

"Gerard Butler is what I imagine Shrek would be like if he transformed back into a human."

"In 20 years, I bet there's going to be a college course called eye contact."

"The show ""The Office"" ended in 2013. We are now living in a post-office world."

"EVERY SENTIENT & NON-SENTIENT CONGLOMERATION OF MOLECULES ON THIS EARTH HAS A BF. WTF."

"Speed dating? You mean pizza delivered in less than 30 mins..."

"I put the 'toast' in 'toaster'. Then I take the 'toast' out of the 'toaster'."

"Anyone know the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? You know, besides the taste."

"What was the last thing Arnold Schwarzenegger said before he was eaten by cannibals? ""I'll be snack."""

"Best way to lose weight. Wait until you are full and stop eating."

"My mother-in-law said ""just do what you normally do"" when she came to stay with us. Not going to lie, naked Saturday was a little awkward."