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Joke of the Day

"Your mother ...is so big that when she was born the doctor broke a bottle of champagne over her head."

"[Catholic church] *priest hands out ""What To Expect At Your Exorcism"" Husband: Babe, this isn't counseling Me: You said you'd try anything"

"Friends are like trees... Few swings with an axe and they fall down."

"Tanning Blondes Two blondes walk into a tanning salon. The receptionist asks Are you two sisters? They laughed and replied, No we're not even Catholic."

"My dog stared at me for 10 minutes. Then, like magic, I knew he had to poop. And now, I have my own psychic show on A&E.;"

"Get it? http://imgur.com/AIhM5"

"Superman: Kinda sucks you can't fly. Batman: It's okay. Superman: Why? Batman: My planet hasn't exploded, so I can still walk and drive."

"Just went to the bookies to put a bet on a horse called ""Dirty Carpet"" it's never been beaten"

"What was Bin Laden's favourite brand? Jihadidas."

"That awkward moment when you lean in to hug someone sexy and bump your head on the mirror."