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Joke of the Day

"Remember when double entry was an accounting term?"

"I can't imagine why more guys don't do yoga. 1. Yoga pants 2. Lots of girls 3. Lots of girls in yoga pants doing yoga moves"

"My 5 year old still has so much to learn. I asked him for a screwdriver and he brought me some sort of tool."

"I have a fear of speed bumps But I am slowly getting over it"

"Two detectives are at a crime scene. They locate a briefcase that is vital evidence to the investigation. One of the detectives says to the other ""It's an open-and-shut case""."

"I'm a polymorphic alien... ...and I have taken shape of this text, and at this very moment I am having sex with your eyeballs and by the smile on your face I can tell that you are enjoying it :)"

"""How much would you say you read the Bible?"" ""Well, I don't read it religiously."" Bud-dum tss, I hate myself."

"I don't get why people are so obsessed with anti-matter It doesn't even matter"

"Why don't skeletons play music in church? Because they got no organs."

"I'm still not convinced Mitt Romney was born."