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Joke of the Day

"""How much would you say you read the Bible?"" ""Well, I don't read it religiously."" Bud-dum tss, I hate myself."

"What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea? I've never paid money for a garbanzo to bean on me."

"I wish my job was more like a video game. In order to be promoted to the next level, all I'd need to do is kill the boss."

"So the square root of -1 is performing in a Broadway show Suddenly, an audience member stands up and shouts ""I'm sure everyone will agree that i could replace you!"""

"I saw a black man running from a shop with a turntable, amplifier and speakers under his arm being chased by a security guard. Talk about stereotypes."

"At grandma's. Which means this morning I woke up at 8:45am and was still greeted with, ""Look who's finally up. We thought you were dead!"""

"Man I really hate calculus. It just derives me crazy"

"For the holidays I've decided to stop making puns... I'm sure yule appreciate it."

"Whenever I try to make a pun-joke, nobody seems to get it.. I guess I'm bad at delivering the PUNchline.."

"Why is it called finding nemo? been wondering for years"