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Joke of the Day

"I'm a polymorphic alien... ...and I have taken shape of this text, and at this very moment I am having sex with your eyeballs and by the smile on your face I can tell that you are enjoying it :)"

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"My wife caught me crossdressing. So I packed her things and left."
"How Does Moses Make His Tea? Hebrews it"
"So a celebrity fired a gun at someone today She was a shooting star"
"I'm not saying the character Merida was modeled after me, but I too would rather win an archery contest than be married."
"What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut, YOU RACIST SON OF A BITCH!"
"What do you get when a deaf guy tries to talk to you at a urinal? Wet"
"Quest I went on a vision quest. I still ended up at Walmart."
"I became a banker. Then I lost interest."
"People who pariticpate in karaoke and are actually good singers are just fucking obnoxious."