218654

Joke of the Day

"I just read last year 4,153,237 people got married. I don't want to start any trouble, but shouldn't that be an even number?"

"I know that there are people who don't love their fellow man I hate those people."

"Wife: that's never going to work Husband: you're so negative, Sandra W: you're planting bird seeds H: LET ME GROW MY BIRDS, WOMAN"

"You know what I'd like for Christmas, mom? I'd like you to stop treating me like a child. Also I'd like some money and some new socks."

"How does a hamster propose to his girlfriend? With a hamst-ring! I'm sorry."

"My ear is bleeding because I tried to shave it. Now I have to create some elaborate lie to tell ppl how I cut my ear."

"My cat deleted my final thesis. Don't believe me? Cats can handle mice."

"According to WebMC, I be illin'."

"What do you get if you cross a woman with a whale? Your research funding suspended and a severe reprimand from the ethics committee."

"What happens when a calculus teacher with one arm can't figure out a proof? He gets stumped."