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Joke of the Day

"When Zelda watches porn... ...does she use adult Links?"

"What's George Washington's favorite element? Americium-1776"

"The Doctor stuck a finger in my bum... For a prostate exam. He said ""All's fine."" I said ""Stick another finger in there, please."" He asked ""why?"" I said ""I want a second opinion."""

"The mathematician worked from home, Because he only functioned in his domain."

"[Sci fi movie] How did you travel such a distance so fast? ""I went through a wormhole."" Worms in the audience: Omg this is so unrealistic."

"What color is a baby in the microwave? I wouldn't know, I close my eyes when I masturbate"

"I return to work tomorrow with a child-like belief that 2017 is the year people will think at least twice before hitting Reply All."

"What did the clock say to the class? Stopwatch you're doing!"

"""Boint, B-U-R-N-T, boint."" - mafia spelling bee."

"I lost 20 pounds in England last summer. How much is that in American dollars?"