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Joke of the Day

"There's no reason to be tailgating me when I'm doing 50 in a 35... ...and those flashing lights on your car look stupid."

"Injections are just like your wedding night A little prick and then it's all over"

"Did you know when a man masturbates he generates 5 BTU of energy.. So if you had 5000 men in a room masturbating, it would be extremely gay."

"Jenner If Bruce(now) Caitlyn Jenner is kidnapped, do they put his picture on the side of a half & half bottle?"

"What does the Illuminati smell like? New World Odor"

"HER: I don't know what you'd do without me. ME: HER: Please stop imagining all those things. ME: Ok."

"What don't BMWs have that all other manufacturers do? Turn signals"

"If Trump deports all the Mexicans Who's going to build the wall?"

"On a scale of Casey Anthony to Jerry Sandusky... ...how much do you like kids?"

"""Are you the ghost of Christmas past?"" - what I ask a person with a flip phone."