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Joke of the Day

"I would dress like Batman more often, but I cant run the risk of giant aliens invading and mistaking me for a large Pez dispenser."

"I slept like a baby last night I shat my pants and woke up every two hours"

"Q: How do you know you're flying over Poland? A: Toilet paper hanging on the clotheslines."

"*puts message in a bottle *stares longingly out at sea and throws it in *gets tazed and arrested for littering"

"What is the worst thing a Jewish father can buy for his daughter? An easy bake oven!"

"Anytime I get something stuck in my throat, I use beer. I call this the Heineken maneuver"

"A woman said to her husband: ""Tie me and I'll let do what you want"" Then, he tied her and slept with the maid"

"How do you make Halloween great again? By carving a Trumpkin"

"Why was the Moon in a bad mood? It was just going through one of its phases."

"Well, well, well...look who's come crawling back,,, asking me to repair the tire on their wheelchair."