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Joke of the Day

"Why do they run the credits at the beginning of Game of Thrones? Because you don't know who is going to make it to the end."

"""Love"" means never having to say ""I'm scoreless at tennis"""

"No thanks ""protected account"". You can't trick me into following you! For all I know, you could be a vegan."

"And how would you like that cooked? ""I like my steak like I like my Pokemon... Rare"""

"My girlfriend got her period today... ...and I guess, since I'm the adult in this relationship, I'm going to have to have ""the talk"" with her. They grow up so fast..."

"Why did the nutty kid throw butter out of the window? He wanted to see a butterfly."

"What's a pet's favorite day? ...Saint Petrick's Day"

"HELLO 911, I NEED TO REPORT A HALO SCORE THAT'S ""CRIMINALLY"" HIGH LOL!!!! ... yes you can talk to my mom"

"A Higgs boson enters a church And the priest says, ""I'm sorry, we don't allow Higgs bosons in churches"" The Higgs replies, ""but without me, you can't have mass"""

"""wow with attitude like this do you even have friends"" me: yes in fact i have all 10 seasons of it"