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Joke of the Day

"They should put barf bags in all the voting booths this year."

"What's the difference between a toilet and a drummer? A toilet only has to deal with shit from one asshole at a time."

"I hope Jeremy Corben is successful in his new chosen career! I didn't really rate him as a comedian, he was especially bad in The Wrong Man's."

"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate."

"A cat eats a slice of swiss cheese... and sits by the mousetrap with baited breath."

"How many Asian-American actors does it take to change a light bulb? None - because they would all be replaced by white actors."

"My mate with Tourettes was cured after walking into a Gay Bar ""Fuck me! Fuck me! Fuck me!"" He shouted.... He's not said a word since..!!"

"""Condoms, please."" ""Do you need a bag for that?"" ""No, she's not that ugly."""

"My liver's so black, it went to a respected college, got a great job, and made it's family very proud. Weren't expecting that, huh? Racist."

"I'm posing nude for an art class. No one asked me to. I think they're making ceramic bowls."