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Joke of the Day

"Why did the dead baby cross the road? It was attached to my bumper..."

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"Bet you can't guess my favorite hue Hue Jackman"
"If my partner didn't want me to wear yoga pants because they make me too attractive to other men, I'd respect his wishes and take them off."
"Why was the divorce lawyer pro-gay marriage? Because any marriage is good for business!"
"Yo Momma so fat she clogs up the tunnel even after rush hour."
"In the future everyone will be older."
"What would you say to Hitler if he was sick? Hey, ill Hitler!"
"Have you heard about these new Oak woord, gold-finished coffins? Apparently they're to die for."
"H: You look nice. Me: I'm meeting one of my Twitter friends today. H: So you want your picture on the evening news to be a nice one? Me: Yep"
"Did you hear about the agnostic insomniac with tourettes? He was up all last night wondering if there is a cunt."