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Joke of the Day

"We can play Yahtzee again. -You fixed the broken dice? Yeah. And they'll never break again. -How do you know? *grins* Die mends are forever."

"What do you call a tree that hates this joke? A face palm."

"The cable company is sending a guy out between 1:00 and 2017."

"What do you call a rabbi that you scrap off your shoe? Resi-jew. I'm so sorry."

"Do people who go to the gym to ""feel the burn"" know nothing of Mexican food?"

"How many liberals does it take to change a lightbulb None, because change can only come from a revolution of the working classes."

"I called the rape hotline today Apparently it's only for victims"

"Want to hear a great joke? Well then fuck you because I'm typing off a keyboard."

"England soccer team have got a new captain today His names George Smith and he'll be flying the A380 back to Heathrow.."

"How many Redditors does it take to change a lightbulb? 1000 One to change it and 999 to walk into the same room and change the same light bulb without checking to see if it needed changing first."