132536

Joke of the Day

"A Catholic Priest and a Rabbi are watching a little boy play... The Priest says, ""I want to screw him."" The Rabbi says, ""Out of what?"""

"If you want to break your addiction to Thanksgiving leftovers... you need to quit cold turkey."

"I'm not afraid of death, so much as I am of dying! I wanna die how my father died, peacefully in his sleep, not like his screaming terrified passengers! *Gotham, Mondays on Fox*"

"When I got my new job, my boss said I could name my salary But he said ""paltry"" and "" inadequate"" were already taken."

"What did the pirate captain say to the sucker fish he hired to clean his ship? Suck my *DECK*!!!"

"I guess it goes without saying that I'm the Han Solo of Twitter, and you guys are Ewoks. Not even the Ewoks with names. Background Ewoks."

"A lot of beautiful women have told me that I am a looker... and that I should stop."

"I'm so done with Apple products! Their phones can't do jack..."

"So two fish are hanging out in a tank... So two fish are hanging out in a tank, when one turns to the other and says ""Are you sure you known how to drive this thing?"""

"A professor and a thespian walk into a Martin Chalifour concert... 69696969696969696969 lololololololololol"