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Joke of the Day

"It took a lot of balls for me to go on the Channel 4 show ""Embarrassing Bodies"". Three actually."

"Why did the lebo cross the road? To fuck a chicken Why did 20 lebo's cross the road? Cause the chicken was winning"

"Me: Show me a pan that didn't get clean the first time and I will show you a pan that needs to soak.. Wife: STOP TWEETING AND WASH THE PAN!"

"I'm having a hard time deciding which pillow I should buy. I'm going to sleep on it."

"I was doing so well getting over my viagra addiction... But I couldn't keep it up."

"""Knock knock"" ""Who's there?"" ""KGB"" ""KGB who?"" *slap* ""We will ask questions!"""

"Why did the melons decide to have a wedding? Because they cantaloupe."

"That tweet is awesome. You guys are awesome. Twitter is awesome. I've made awesome friends on Twitter. A thesaurus would be awesome."

"I don't know why Russia is so homophobic. Most of the women there look like men anyway."

"Beyonce made a song called ""Single Ladies"" then went home to her husband and left you lonely hoes dancing in a circle pretending to be happy"