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Joke of the Day

"What's green got 6 legs and if it falls out of a tree it'll kill you ? A pool table"

"To the people who will be posting 9/11 jokes this month: Please don't do it. Making jokes about 9/11 is just **plane** wrong. ~~dontkillmeforthis~~"

"Whenever I meet a pretty girl, the first thing I look for is intelligence... ...because if she doesn't have that, then she's mine."

"I'm doomed to always think of the best comebacks the next day when the baby isn't even around."

"the reason i dont wear specific colors on 9/11 when someone asks me why im not wearing red on 9/11 i tell them ""because im not celebrating a muslim holiday"""

"funny Q: Why do birds fly south for the winter? A: It's too far to walk."

"I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people."

"Apparently the safe word has changed to... NOT THERE IDIOT!!! Followed by a swift elbow to the eye...."

"My eyes are puffy and watery. People at work are going to think I've been crying. That should squash the rumors that I'm a heartless bitch."

"(My 99 y/o Jewish grandma told me this joke tonight and I have never heard it before) - ""Why was Abraham Lincoln Jewish?"" Because he was shot in the temple."