158364

Joke of the Day

"the reason i dont wear specific colors on 9/11 when someone asks me why im not wearing red on 9/11 i tell them ""because im not celebrating a muslim holiday"""

"I wanted to have a threesome.. ..but then I came to the realization, if I wanted to disappoint two people I'd just have dinner with my parents."

"What is dog x dog? Puppy dog."

"According to Steve Jobs, what type is the pokemon Scizor? Feature/Borrow"

"Where did the cat go when it lost it's tail? To the retail store!"

"What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Hitler."

"*Sleeping Beauty gives rotten apple to Obama* *Obama faints* Only a kiss from his one true love will save him *Biden takes out lipstick*"

"Why did the vulture have to check some luggage at the gate? It was only allowed one piece of carrion."

"How do you spot a blind man in a nudist colony? It's not hard."

"I got jumped by five black guys in Baltimore. The car started right up but they said I'd need a new battery."