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Joke of the Day

"REPORTER: you say you spotted the missing hikers somewhere in these woods CLEARLY A BEAR IN A FLANNEL & AVIATORS: [right on mic] briefly yes"

"If you've had a lightsaber pointed at you while you were on the toilet you may be a parent ...or your life is way more interesting than mine"

"You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter. "

"A beautiful girl looks good in the background of her smart friend."

"[Starbucks] What can I get you? I'll have a large coffee, black ""You don't have to say black"" I'll have a large coffee, African American"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Cam ! Cam who ? Camalot is where King Arthur lived !"

"I could tell you a Chemistry joke .....but I probably wouldn't get much of a reaction"

"Why are the cops shooting so many black men? There's plenty of Mexicans to shoot too. Yeah I'm going to hell for that one."

"Is your refrigerator running? Because I might vote for it."

"Wife: It's time for a vacation. Me: Where do YOU want to go? Wife: Hmm... Maybe the Bahamas? Me: Great idea! And, I'LL go camping upstate!"