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Joke of the Day
"Is your refrigerator running? Because I might vote for it."
Next Joke
"Keep your friend's clothes in your enemy's toaster."
"STAYCATION DAY 1: Filled the birdbath with Nescafe just to see the startled look on those vagrant House Finches."
"They say 2 out of 3 people live next to a pedophile.. But not me. I live next to two really hot 9 year olds."
"The fastest land animal is a guy that sees a woman about to go through his phone"
"What do you call a nun that works for your company? Nun of your business."
"What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? The holocaust."
"Ah Twitter, never have so many said so much that mattered so little to so few."
"currently standing in a crowded elevator by myself holding a plate with a waffle on it everyone looks confused clearly they don't know me"
"*in court* Your honor,this case must be thrown out ""On what grounds?"" *points to defendants nametag: ABookByItsCover* *Judges head explodes*"