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Joke of the Day

"My friend's mouth and tongue were blistering and burning after eating tacos last night... serves him right! I told him not to eat Mexican."

"What was Dr Frankenstein's second job? He was a body-builder"

"Jack All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no pay makes Jack a Mexican."

"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl pee? Because they're all dead"

"I recently went to Israel The showers and trains didn't work."

"[elementary school] BULLY: gimme your lunch money ME: no B: *grabs me by shirt* I said give it M: ok but this has to stop I'm your teacher"

"WTF!!!!!!!!!!! A: Hey, man! Please call me a taxi. B: Yes, sir. You are a taxi."

"Cannibal and Girlfriend What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? Wipe his ass."

"If Ebenezer Scrooge were a sheep, what kind of hat would he wear? A Baa-Homburg!"

"How many ""friend zoned"" guys does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They just compliment it and get mad when it won't screw."